Line Drive

Sophi- you started tball this summer. You have really enjoyed it and your favorite part is running to the bases. Tonight while you were playing outfield you took a line drive straight to the nose. It started bleeding and daddy picked you up. You were so sad and I felt so awful that it had happened. It breaks a mamas heart when we can’t protect our children. I never want anything bad to happen to you or Morgan or Raegan. But I have learned that through this hard things we come to know our savior better. We also learn how strong we can really be and we get to see the love and kindness of so many people (those who reached out to make sure you were okay, friends who brought you pictures and popsicles and ward friends who took Morgan to get a snow cone and play while we took you to the hospital). You were so strong tonight. I’m hoping you will go back out and play again even though you are scared.

He loves you...

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Dearest Morgan,

You were so new to us. We wanted to make sure we did everything right for you. Daddy would even come to your doctor's appointments with us just to make sure we were all together. I think Dr. Glade thought that was funny. Usually it was just the moms that came. But this daddy loves you SO much! This was right after you got your shots. You made us a mom and dad - a family.

Daily Bread

Saturday, April 16, 2016

For he will give unto the faithful line upon line, precept upon precept;

and I will try you and prove you herewith.

Doctrine and Covenants 98:12

 

I don't think I have ever second guessed myself as much as I have as when I became a mom. I want to make sure I am doing everything exactly right or I feel like I am failing. In my efforts to do everything exactly right I have prayed to Heavenly Father to give me that one answer to solve all my problems. The one answer to bring peace and understanding. And the answer I continually get is "line upon line". I am realizing (slowly) that there is no one answer to help me with all my questions, heartaches, problems. I need to rely on my Savior and my Father in Heaven and I need to do it line upon line. Here are some thoughts from Elder D. Todd Christofferson in regards to this:

To a large extent, I believe our faith in God is a consequence, or fruit, of experience. Quite a few years ago I made a financial investment in a small business and it began to require more to stay afloat. Yet, it still didn't do well and then more was required, and it became a terrible economic threat. I remember having to go before the Lord with nowhere else to turn, and in tears and pleading to seek for to seek for anything that He would provide in His love and wisdom. What I learned in that process was what it's like to come to a point in your life where you really have nowhere to turn but to God. And in those circumstances one truly learns how to pray and how to receive the answers that come. Sometimes it was nothing more than a feeling that things would work out somehow; no indication of how or when but it would be alright. Sometimes it was an idea that would make a difference. And so it became during portions of this experience, a matter of getting the manna for that day; the help that could only come from Him, from God, for the moment, not the long-term, just the immediate need. I think what we have to do when the pressures are there and the clouds are dark and threatening, is take life one day at a time. It helps at times not to think too far ahead and just do what the day requires; ""Give us this day our daily bread."" We're not anticipating the hardship or suffering that might be entailed, we sometimes just have to break it down to this moment, this day, and while deliverance isn't immediate and you may not see the end, still you've got enough for today. When this began happening in my life my prayer was "Give me a miracle,"" you know, ""Solve this problem,"" and it took a while to finally come to the point of saying, ""I'm content to get a daily help, and let it take what time it takes,""knowing that I can rely upon God. It's been a blessing to me ever since to have had that rather harrowing experience because of what it meant for my relationship with Him. Maybe the greater blessing for us is to have to walk through it with Him. 

Generally it is good to try to anticipate what is coming and prepare to deal with it. At times, however, … to worry about what is or may be coming can be debilitating. It can paralyze us and make us quit. In making decisions day by day, we can slowly but surely draw closer to the Lord and avoid distasteful influences from becoming a part of our lives. Being consistent in seemingly small, daily steps is a key principle in achieving any great work, including faith in and obedience to the Lord.

And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. (D&C 64:33)

In reality, there aren’t very many things in a day that are totally without significance. Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the discipline and character and order needed to realize our plans and dreams. As we daily come unto Him of whom manna was a type and symbol, the very bread of life, we can grow in love for and trust and faith in our Savior and Heavenly Father.

I am still working on applying this to my daily life but I do believe that it is the best way to constantly stay close to our Savior and Heavenly Father.

For my posterity

Friday, April 15, 2016

This is something I have felt prompted to do for a really long time. I am sorry am just starting now. Morgan and Sophi (and all other children that we will have one day) this is for you. Some of what I may write may be humdrum dates, places, pictures or some random thoughts, but there will also be passages that I pray will be beneficial for my posterity.

What could you do better for your children and your children’s children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved?

Spencer W. Kimball

Here is a talk that has pushed me to move forward on starting this journal. My own thoughts are highlighted in red.
                           

“The Angels May Quote from It”

by President Spencer W. Kimball

 

03309_00The Lord Jesus Christ himself emphasized the great importance of record keeping to the Nephites and Lamanites. (3 Nephi 23:6-13)

 

Early in the American life of the family of Lehi, his son, Nephi, said:

“Having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days. …

“And I know that the record which I make is true; and I make it with mine own hand; and I make it according to my knowledge.” (1 Ne. 1:1, 3.)

 

And then we must not forget or minimize the great efforts of our modern prophet, Joseph Smith, to write the history of the restoration of the gospel and also his own personal experiences in great detail. What a mass of confusion we would have without those authentic, personal, carefully written records! I have a testimony of Joseph Smith. I know that he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that he restored the gospel to the earth. I have NO DOUBT. There are many that have lost their testimonies because of things that they have read in regards to Joseph Smith and the happening of the church. I feel it is happening more so now than ever. Elder Jeffery R. Holland said: The Savior warned that in the last days even those of the covenant, the very elect, could be deceived by the enemy of truth. (Matthew 24:24). Morgan and Sophi- please find your own testimonies! Make them strong, steadfast and unmovable. Remember President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s counsel, ‘Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.

 

Again, how happy we are as we find our grandparents’ journals and follow them through their trials and joys and gain for our own lives much from the experiences and faith and courage of our ancestors. You have so much to learn from your grandparents. Holy moly are they incredible people. Your Grandma Paskett was a convert to the church. A pioneer!!! I am so thankful she listened to the promptings of the spirit and gained her own testimony of the Gospel. Your Grandpa Paskett has his own testimony that has been tried and tested but is as strong as they come. I will share with you his stories as I continue this journal. Your Grandpa Gary Allen, who died before you both were born. Incredible faith in our Heavenly Father. Your Grandma Connie too (who later married your Papa Ken). You will know their stories and their testimonies. I will make sure of that.

 

Your own private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you. Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity. Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant.

 

No one is commonplace, (I think that is so important to remember - YOU ARE NOT commonplace) and I doubt if you can ever read a biography from which you cannot learn something from the difficulties overcome and the struggles made to succeed. These are the measuring rods for the progress of humanity.

 

As we read the stories of great men, we discover that they did not become famous overnight nor were they born professionals or skilled craftsmen. The story of how they became what they are may be helpful to us all.

 

Your own journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them.

 

Your journal should contain your true self rather than a picture of you when you are “made up” for a public performance. There is a temptation to paint one’s virtues in rich color and whitewash the vices, but there is also the opposite pitfall of accentuating the negative. Personally I have little respect for anyone who delves into the ugly phases of the life he is portraying, whether it be his own or another’s. The truth should be told, but we should not emphasize the negative.

 

You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life. There may be a flash of illumination here and a story of faithfulness there; you should truthfully record your real self and not what other people may see in you. Your story should be written now while it is fresh and while the true details are available.

A journal is the literature of superiority. Each individual can become superior in his own humble life.

 

Get a notebook, my young folks, a journal that will last through all time, and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events.

I hope I can do my best to record my life and our lives as a family. Here it goes!